A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Races


  1. JoCat

    JoCatIl y a mois

    Download: mega.nz/#!s5RAmS6D!USG3zCcZ_FPMFm1Z0wqwSFrHYsNK9mClMdVmCayr42U Instrumental: mega.nz/#!xsBCgYob!v5MbdnmkL3rmqyZPcdVRoAF4NTnhQJtGMsFd0cfOaBw Lyrics: So you picked your class, hold onto your ass its gonna get crass cause RACE - part of the role you can play, some sentient clay, a he she or they, a beast who gets real snarly, and regular chill dude named charlie, if homebrew's free, a big talking tree, welcome to a crap guide to D&D Aarakocra - a big fuckin bird, you got some wings so you can fly, and if non-weapon melee is preferred they get sharp talons to bitch scratch a guy. or maybe you're more of an Aasimar - still avian if you lower the bar angelic people with radiant energy or darkness if you flap your wings edgily Bugbears arent actually bears at all, more like beastly orcs, and just as tall, but oddly sneaky and your arms are long, so you're really freakin good at playing basketball but if going full beast is a little too far, you could always do half and decide to be a centaur, charging at the enemy so they cant readily get steadily back up while you stomp on them deadily for sneaky bunch, the changeling is cool - you make disguise kits a worthless tool, you can change your face to whatever race there's nearly no limit on who you can fool Dragonborn - no not the skyrim kind - are likely the kid of a bard that'll find dragons really hot, so now you shoot acid, or whatever other color your parent's prefered ass is The typical Dwarf with a beautiful beard, you work with your hands, and are physically sturdy, you seem informed about rocks which is weird, try not to obsess or the sesh'll get wordy Elves - are pompous pricks, a dozen flavors to match and mix. they live a long time, dont sleep instead trance. and are hard to be charmed, so bards keep it in your pants pick a Firbolg to be achill-ass cow, most of which have a druidic vow, and dont ask how but they can turn invisible, which is a big concern Genasi elemental genie bastards, one of four elements that they have mastered in some way that lets them do cool shit , like water bend or have a fire breathing armpit Githyanki and githzerai, elves that look like they wanna die. All they’re about is how they clash. Been around 40 years and their lore's still trash. Shortstack - Gnome happy short folk, who are smart and wise and cunning and know how to crack into good camouflage, be it sneaking or magic or cool roguish montage WACK is the goblin, small size hits hard on your noggin, their nimbleness makes it hard to keep pace, they'll hide, and bide, quick slide, and hit your face Muscles are in, though i've bias, so the hottest imo is Goliaths. They're 8 feet tall, have steel for their balls, and can shrug off damage like one man riots Half-Elf the mutts and mules of D&D extra points to spend on two abilities and skills out the ass, it's the best of both races, and backstories usually from stupid places Half-Orc - like I said, muscles are in - you're a ruthless brute who fights to win, your crits get crits, you can terrify, and if you feel like it you can say "NO" to when you die if your luck is nasty, the Halfling is good - you reroll ones and win like you should, and you're hard to scare, so go party with a dragon, and you can slip through if it's angry off the flagon Humans get a little bit of everything, they lack gimmicks or special flair or any zing, but are all around average you know how it is, and the perfect pick if you're boring ere's Races, all the races X2 There's plenty to choose from too many so come witness the list of this guide to all of the Races (races) all the races Hobgoblin, they trust in a code, be it gods or communism or a giant toad, and they’re a prideful chode, so whenever you fail, the more watch you retry means you go beast mode If you’re an edgy avian, Kenku’s sneaky, agile and crafty and can easily lie, they can mimic voices to be a bit cheeky, too bad they get bullied because they cant fly The Kobold is a mischievous one, they hate bright light and there’s often more than one, they can trick dumb fools, then steal their jewels, but ganging up together can be pretty fun Guess it’s the scaly hour cause Lizardfolk have sticks up their ass and cant take a joke, they can bite and craft and stay a while under water, and have hard-ass scales to block canonfodder Loxodon are straight up elephants, their large size & thick hide make them dense, got trunks to smell and are wise and mostly merry but piss one off and you’ll see they’re damn scary Wanna breath underwater? Locathah is a fish, a straight up fish, literally just a fish, your armor starts high, and get tons of resistance, stay dry and you die, you’re still just a fish. Big Beastly Bull is the Minotaur, got horns to charge if you run pretty far, make them shit their pants while you’re at it, being big and scary is a habit, speaking of, Orcs, superstitious and strong, but also often wrong with a minus 2 to int, that’s okay so to say you’re aggressive and massive, got angry parents means they’re rarely passive Cat girls rejoice, Tabaxi is here - obsessed with stuff and quite the sightseer, fast like a cat, get claws and climb far, tons of coats like leopard and tiger and jaguar Tiefling is a demon with a lot of looks, they’re horny and hot and often a provoker, in the lore anyway a of lot of hate, it’s normal I guess when youre a panties soaker If you wanna be big and reptilian, who’s strong and hardy, then Tortle, has a shell that’s AC is a million, so have fun being a hermit immortal Triton is just an aquatic elf who evolved itself in t he continental shelf, and you’re basically aquaman, fish can understand you, NO they won't do your laundry just cause you demand to The Verdin is like a goblin but pretentious, mind powers that’d make mystics contentious, and a buncha passive shit, what is this peace hour? Come back and talk to me when you learn real power. Yuan-ti Pureblood like humans but snakey, never make a date with one, I hear they’re real flakey. Manipulative bunch, with magic resistance, don't take their oral offer, no matter their persistence Spirit Human mix is the Kalashtar, got a lotta mind shit that’s really bizarre, like telepathy, dream protectively, like angels if they couldn't be effectively The Shifter’s like a half lycanthrope, with four different types with exclusive features, you can't transform at least not fully, so you’ll often look more like a freakish creature Simic Hybrids are random fusions of aquatic things like a squid or a crab, and gain bonuses depending which ones, so have some big pincers for new ways to stab Warforged - robots forged for war, dont have to eat or sleep or breath and what’s more is you’re tanky as well, being hard as steel, the only downside is you’ll never truly feel. Vedalken tells us nobody’s perfect, look like na-vi people without the long neck, they get lots of bonuses to smarts not shocking, good luck ever getting one to stop talking And that’s the lot, and always remember class race importance is pretty seldom Use whatever you fancy, make a chubby fighter dancy, now you know how to pick your race, you’re welcome

  2. Vanessa Aiselbrown

    Vanessa AiselbrownIl y a 2 jours

    Is this the last crap guide to DND?

  3. Yooran

    YooranIl y a 27 jours


  4. jonathon rockall

    jonathon rockallIl y a 29 jours

    Im going to say this more than once a crap guide to dming!

  5. Hamburger Sandwich

    Hamburger SandwichIl y a 29 jours

    Instead of listening to Eminem or Snoop Dog rap, this is what us nerds rap along to

  6. Hiker David

    Hiker DavidIl y a mois

    You know dragonborn aren't half dragons

  7. Breadface

    BreadfaceIl y a 24 minutes

    I plan on making a tabaxi that acts like your average house cat. Imagine this: You and your allies checked if the treasure on the podium is trapped and it is so you decide to not touch it at all and just walk away. You then realize that your rogue isn't with you, you turn around and see them next to the trapped treasure. You see it in their eyes, the rogue wants to knock it over. You beg them not to but they don't listen. The trap is triggered and a boulder comes rolling down killing anyone with low health while injuring the rest.

  8. Ben Sarm Chuqui

    Ben Sarm ChuquiIl y a 20 heures

    Wizard Orc for hard mode

  9. Bennett Moseley

    Bennett MoseleyIl y a 21 heure

    This kinda hits tho...

  10. TheDamnedDog

    TheDamnedDogIl y a 22 heures

    I’m gonna be singing this for weeks you ass

  11. Darksteel Heart

    Darksteel HeartIl y a jour

    Dude. This is awesome!

  12. Panda Melon

    Panda MelonIl y a jour

    My character is literally a earth genasi barbarian. (Thinking of making him a a artificer barbarian)

  13. Jonathan Williams

    Jonathan WilliamsIl y a jour

    I became a follower today, well after watching all of joCats vids. Keep up the great work! Top 3 favorite dnd animated artist, Puffin forest, Dingo Doodles and JoCat.

  14. SA Soldier

    SA SoldierIl y a 2 jours

    Digging the What I feel is a Bo Burnham Homage

  15. Leaping Lizard gaming

    Leaping Lizard gamingIl y a 2 jours

    What dlc is free

  16. xXx_CheesyTurtle_xXx

    xXx_CheesyTurtle_xXxIl y a 2 jours


  17. Cade Vaughn

    Cade VaughnIl y a 2 jours

    My character is a goliath barbarian

  18. Person that is named Frank

    Person that is named FrankIl y a 2 jours

    When Jocat said in his bard video that the only way to play was with a lyre in one hand in a sword in the other. I don’t think Jocat needs the sword part to be good.

  19. K H

    K HIl y a 2 jours

    I cant shake the feeling that the sound of this was somewhat inspired by "Chew Toy" from "Bloodhound Gang"

  20. Hunter Knoettner

    Hunter KnoettnerIl y a 2 jours

    What song are the horns sampled from?

  21. Hunter Powers

    Hunter PowersIl y a 3 jours

    Bear if you can see this then hi.

  22. Donny Dark

    Donny DarkIl y a 3 jours

    Holy fuck that was AWESOME 😎

  23. knyle 64

    knyle 64Il y a 3 jours

    Are most of these homebrew or can you find them online or in a book

  24. Cyanic

    CyanicIl y a 3 jours

    wigglercat: disses humans for being average and boring Variant Humans: *hold my customization*

  25. Leasagna

    LeasagnaIl y a 3 jours

    where all my half orc barbarian bois at

  26. Old Grumpy Bear

    Old Grumpy BearIl y a 3 jours

    I'd love to see all these characters animated in an adventure. Need some bardXpaladin action.

  27. Jose Adrian Martinez Villegas

    Jose Adrian Martinez VillegasIl y a 3 jours

    Press like if you noticed the furry joke not told

  28. Andrew Sawyer

    Andrew SawyerIl y a 4 jours


  29. Permit Hurple

    Permit HurpleIl y a 4 jours

    The dragonborn section is soooooooooooo wrong. Dragonborn are their own races and they DONT have tails. Anyone else notice this????

  30. Thunder Muffin

    Thunder MuffinIl y a 4 jours

    Absolute bop

  31. Umbreon Umbrage

    Umbreon UmbrageIl y a 5 jours

    He has a video where he made a joke along the lines of “ you say a magical yo mama joke and you appointment takes psychic damage “ what video was that if anyone know

  32. Satan

    SatanIl y a 4 jours

    Sounds like something a bard would do

  33. Sound Glave

    Sound GlaveIl y a 5 jours

    A rap guide to dnd

  34. Xeno794

    Xeno794Il y a 5 jours

    Snom tho

  35. Joshua Fogg

    Joshua FoggIl y a 5 jours

    Fey Corgi.

  36. The Gentleman

    The GentlemanIl y a 5 jours

    I am deeply attracted to the dwarf and am trying to decipher if that means I'm straight or not

  37. Giorgio Falà

    Giorgio FalàIl y a 4 jours

    It's normal to be attracted to a beautiful beard. It's all ok, don't sweat it.

  38. Ethan Silver

    Ethan SilverIl y a 5 jours

    this music is so fucking sexy

  39. Nicolas Bernard

    Nicolas BernardIl y a 5 jours

    Finally a song as catchy than informal

  40. Blake Brown

    Blake BrownIl y a 5 jours

    You put in lolcantha but not the grung? Sad times....

  41. Akumu San

    Akumu SanIl y a 6 jours

    The beat reminds me of Bo Burnham lol

  42. DoomsArbiter

    DoomsArbiterIl y a 6 jours

    My bruh not to cramp yo style but you forgot grung little frog dudes

  43. Quinn D. Silvers

    Quinn D. SilversIl y a 6 jours

    I'm amazed that you could make a song about all the races! So crazy!!

  44. TheRamenShamen

    TheRamenShamenIl y a 6 jours

    Hey I am not a dumb people

  45. Doc Longwell

    Doc LongwellIl y a 7 jours

    Holy Crap Dude! This was insane. I always liked these videos.... But this was amazing

  46. Chaos gamer 1_p

    Chaos gamer 1_pIl y a 7 jours

    Elves are papa's pricks a dozen flavors to match and mix,can his rhymes get any better and true

  47. Collin Buckman

    Collin BuckmanIl y a 4 jours

    *pompous pricks

  48. niteliniN

    niteliniNIl y a 7 jours

    After seeing all this I'm decided, I'll Play a sexy Barbarian/Sorcerer Gobling next time I'm playing D&D. Just hope the DM isn't a dick. Fireball till spell slots run out and then rage like there's no tomorrow.

  49. Tucker Coolman

    Tucker CoolmanIl y a 7 jours

    This is amazing

  50. sunbabybull

    sunbabybullIl y a 7 jours

    I know it’s been asked, but how long did it take you to practice for this video?

  51. Spooder Memes

    Spooder MemesIl y a 7 jours

    Does he mean half dragon?

  52. Cyril Gigee

    Cyril GigeeIl y a 7 jours

    Only true Chads play Warforged Warlocks and Kenku Monks.

  53. Games'N'Things

    Games'N'ThingsIl y a 8 jours

    Nice Bo Burnham Remix

  54. Thresher MAW

    Thresher MAWIl y a 8 jours

    I wonder, what ever happened to gnolls?

  55. Collin Buckman

    Collin BuckmanIl y a 4 jours

    Not playable in 5e afaik. Volo's Guide to Monsters gives information on them as a race, and statblocks fore enemy Gnolls, but doesn't provide any playable stats (only providing player stats for Bugbears, Goblins, Hobgoblins, Kobolds, Orcs, and Yuan-Ti Purebloods)

  56. Xayte

    XayteIl y a 8 jours

    Hey, Humans aint boring. Its one thing to kill an immortal dark lord when your race births naturally good archers who can all do magic and are good at everything. Its another thing to do so when your species only gimmick is that youre slightly above average at farming.

  57. bodki malone

    bodki maloneIl y a 8 jours

    What class and don't say rogue...with changeling

  58. Cyrus Earthdrake

    Cyrus EarthdrakeIl y a 8 jours

    I play as a Gnoll Wizard

  59. Ammon Ohai

    Ammon OhaiIl y a 9 jours

    I return here every so often. Just to rejuvenate ya know?

  60. Death_Defying

    Death_DefyingIl y a 9 jours

    Killed it.

  61. Montgomery Urrutia

    Montgomery UrrutiaIl y a 9 jours

    A crap guide to blood hunter?

  62. Danny Hayek

    Danny HayekIl y a 9 jours

    Years of talking fast has finally prepared you.

  63. Riley Gobin

    Riley GobinIl y a 9 jours

    Subbed after that intro man. Absolute amazing

  64. The Animator Of Animation

    The Animator Of AnimationIl y a 9 jours

    Raaciiiiists, all the raaciiiiists

  65. Peter Stamerra

    Peter StamerraIl y a 10 jours

    This song convinced me to try more exotic races. Good job!

  66. Gabe Pickens

    Gabe PickensIl y a 10 jours

    Just realized that the artificer is missing from the intro sequence

  67. Devil Kats

    Devil KatsIl y a 10 jours

    O jesus. I dont know how i feel about my campaign with my tiefling now

  68. Vulpix Heat

    Vulpix HeatIl y a 10 jours

    War forged Druid best combo.

  69. La Nora Adams-Reed

    La Nora Adams-ReedIl y a 5 jours


  70. Vulpix Heat

    Vulpix HeatIl y a 7 jours

    American Eagle yes. It’s also the perfect test to see if your dm is an asshole. Dm: uhh since you are a robot and robots have metal in them you aren’t allowed to use your Druid abilities because druids can’t use metal armor.

  71. American Eagle

    American EagleIl y a 7 jours

    So like Bastion

  72. AmalgamatedThought

    AmalgamatedThoughtIl y a 10 jours

    In this video he rolled Nat 20